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To the Editor:
Re “It’s Not Easy to Tell People You Have Cancer,” by Daniela J. Lamas (Opinion guest essay, March 27):
As a cancer survivor myself, I understand the reluctance of Catherine, Princess of Wales, to speak out about her own diagnosis. However, she has the unique opportunity to alert and educate many people regarding symptoms and treatments. And by speaking calmly and frankly, she has the additional opportunity to help remove the fear and stigma of a cancer diagnosis.
Of course, she has no obligation to do this, but perhaps as time passes and she is no longer in the first stages of shock, she will be able to do a truly selfless thing and help educate people about cancer.
Barbara Mutterperl
New York
To the Editor:
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 12 years old and she was 33. In the 1960s breast cancer was often fatal, and cancer was not discussed publicly. As the oldest child, I think I was told too much, not too little. Counseling would have been very helpful.
I am 75 and had early stage breast cancer four years ago. I was told my treatment would be over 90 percent successful; sharing that information normalized the situation and helped me get through the treatment. I am cancer free.
Some types of cancer have fairly good outcomes, while other types are almost always fatal. The more treatable a cancer is, the more comfortable a patient feels about telling friends about their diagnosis. And sharing information with children under 18 has to be done very carefully.
Catherine, Princess of Wales, has very young children. She and her husband will be careful about how much information to give them, hoping to be honest but not scare them unnecessarily. Expecting her to reveal her diagnosis in more detail would be inappropriate at this point.
Maureen Schild
New York
To the Editor:
The members of the royal family are funded by the people of Britain. If they do not abdicate their official roles, it is their duty to do good in this world for the people who afford them their sumptuous lifestyle (be it under press coverage under a microscope or not).
So if they are secretive about their cancer diagnosis, it sends a clear message — cancer is a secret, something to hide, to cover up, to be ashamed of — and that is simply awful for the millions of people who are diagnosed with cancer or who have some mysterious health condition that with proper attention is diagnosed, hopefully early, as cancer!
Catherine, Princess of Wales, is not an ordinary person. It is her duty in her role as a country’s figurehead to speak the truth and not cover up.
She and the crown mislead the public in calling her chemotherapy preventative. She is not taking chemo like a flu shot; you can’t go to your doctor and ask for some chemo to prevent you from getting cancer. Chemo kills cancer cells, plain and simple. It is a drug in the anticancer tool kit.
As a survivor of Stage 4 testicular cancer diagnosed 15 years ago, I know how such a diagnosis turns your world and that of those close to you upside down.
Catherine and the crown have the power, the responsibility and the duty to her employers — the people of Britain — and really to the world to speak the truth about her condition, to help them understand about cancer screening, about not shirking from the disease, about living with cancer and getting treatment for it, and about the many cases like mine that can be cured.
Roger S. Merians
Simi Valley, Calif.
To the Editor:
When I was growing up in the 1950s, people only whispered the letter C for cancer. And no one ever said out loud the possibility of someone being a homosexual. The word gay was never used.
Why do people keep secrets? Sometimes it’s shame; other times we don’t want to experience other people’s reaction to the news, or to worry our family or friends.
I have no trouble telling people about my 2019 cancer diagnosis. When I came out as a lesbian 46 years ago, I was thrilled to finally be out of the closet, but I told less than a handful of people. It took a while to be open about my sexuality.
Every person, famous or not, gets to decide what to reveal and when. But keeping a secret because of shame or embarrassment is very toxic.
Beth Rosen
Bronx
The writer is a psychotherapist.
To the Editor:
Dr. Daniela J. Lamas’s article brought back memories from my diagnosis with spleen cancer in 2005.
I told adult family members and neighbors, but decided not to tell my daughters (then 14 and 9) any specifics, referring vaguely to an abdominal condition that required surgery.
I did not want to derail the ability of the 14-year-old to rebel and act like a normal teen, and I wanted to spare the 9-year-old, who was already a worrier who thought of me as vulnerable. I told myself that if I needed chemotherapy, I would tell my children at that point. Fortunately, I ended up not needing chemo.
What we did not count on was that the children of those adults we had told would see their parents’ emails or texts and inform our children that I had cancer.
It took years for me to regain my children’s trust that I would be truthful and not hide important information from them. So be mindful that your kids have a lot more access to information than we had at their age.
Barbara Quackenbos
West Orange, N.J.
‘Political Anxieties’
To the Editor:
Re “America’s Most Overlooked Political Divide,” by David French (column, March 25):
I found Mr. French’s description of people on both sides of today’s political divide deciding to “unplug from the news” unsurprising.
Since 2016, patients in my practice, on both the left and the right of the political divide, have reported being distraught by a daily onslaught of political news. Consequently, I began including “political anxieties” as one problem distressing patients who could not tear themselves away from a favorite cable news network’s unending servings of doom and gloom punditry.
My response, and practical advice I follow myself, is suggesting to patients that rather than immersion in distressing cable news, just scan online headlines. Doing so provides a sense of what is going on in the world. However, I also advise not going into the weeds, as doing so only heightens political anxieties.
Some find this to be a reasonable balance between being an anxiously overstimulated citizen and a disengaged one.
Jack Drescher
New York
The writer, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, is past president of the Group for Advancement of Psychiatry.
A Mystery From England’s Bronze Age
To the Editor:
Re “Under Centuries of Silt, a Vivid View of Bronze Age Life” (news article, March 21):
I have not been able to stop thinking about this extremely moving article about the surprisingly rich lives lived by the inhabitants of a Bronze Age village in England nearly 3,000 years ago. It makes one think that the high point of human existence may have actually occurred thousands of years ago.
These people were steeped in beauty, the bounties of nature, the satisfaction of craftsmanship and the joy of one another’s company. In stark contrast to humans today, they lived in quiet harmony with the earth.
The most fascinating mystery to me is why they never returned to salvage their things after, as you report, “a catastrophic fire tore through the compound.” Could it be that they felt no special attachment to their belongings?
As the article stated, these people had the skills to easily move and rebuild their compound. Perhaps they felt that their greatest possession was the earth itself.
Philip Dolin
New York
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